UN to Little People: STFU!

Some of us fear that the world is secretly manipulated by a nefarious global elite (actually, some of us know it is). But the UN, Twitter, the European Commission, and the World Jewish Congress beg to differ.

Determined to set our minds at ease, they assure us that none of this “secret manipulation” nonsense is happening.

Sure, a lot of what the elite do is secret (just try to smuggle a real journalist into one of their locked-down strategy sessions even when it’s not “classified”). And yes, the purpose of this kind of secrecy is clearly to engage in behind-the-scenes manipulation of world affairs and public opinion - otherwise, what’s the point? But put those two facts together, and Abracadabra! They magically disappear in a puff of smoke!

UN Warns Against Conspiracy Theories