Congressvermin On the Make
Headline (Infowars): "The Democrats are fixing to fill the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) – one of the most reviled government agencies – with more bureaucrats than the Pentagon, FBI, State Department, and Border Patrol combined. If the so-called Inflation Reduction Act of 2022 passes, the IRS would receive $80 billion, a 600% increase from 2021, where they received $12.6 billion."
Let’s try a little thought experiment.
Suppose you're driving through a bad neighborhood. There's a scantily dressed woman on the corner. You think her vehicle may have broken down and left her stranded and in peril, so you pull over and ask if she needs help. She looks at you and smiles seductively.
That’s when you spot a shady-looking man lurking in a nearby doorway. It occurs to you that the lady might not be looking for the kind of help you had in mind.
"Who's that?" you ask her. "Would that by any chance be a … a pimp?"
"Oh, heavens no," she says. "He's just my friend. He protects me, helps me out when I’m in trouble, and gives me money when I need it."
Of course, anyone with half a brain would suspect that she was being less than truthful.
"Sure he's just your friend," you say to yourself. "He has pimp written all over him, and that makes you a prostitute!”
So you politely take your leave and go on your way. Next stop: The US Capitol.
A few minutes later, you're sauntering through the Capitol Building. You notice that the hallways are packed with shady-looking men wearing "Property of the Banksters" badges on their lapels and “Great Reset or Bust!” stickers under their coattails. They all appear slick and shiny, as if covered in a thin layer of grease.
Walking on, you finally come to the legislative chambers. There you see a teeming gaggle of sleazy, hungry-looking Dems and Rinos voting up a bill to multiply the yearly budget of the IRS by a factor of 6 or 7 while more than doubling the agency in size. You ask them what they think they're doing.
"We’re just making a few minor adjustments to the tax code designed to astronomically multiply the prices you’ll be paying to drive your car and heat your home, and also raise the price of everything transported by rail, truck, or airplane,” one of them informs you. “Your food prices are about to take off again as well. Thus, although we’re calling this an “anti-inflation” bill, it will inflate away your savings like steam from fresh horse apples in January! Oh yes, and we're also adding nearly 100,000 tax-feeders to the IRS payroll, including tens of thousands of fully armed IRS / Federal Reserve collection agents!"
[Actually, the congressvermin would refuse to answer your question. Instead, you would immediately be arrested for “trespassing” on government property and violating “national security”, i.e., for daring to enter the criminal hideout/safe-space where they steal your income, take bribes from foreign enemies who want you dead, and divvy up the blood money. This, of course, would cause you to be dragged away and incarcerated in the dark, dank dungeons of the DC Capitol Police for years of torture under the PATRIOT Act and other atrocious, unconstitutional “We can do whatever we like to you without conviction, trial, or even charging you with a crime!” legislation rammed, slammed, and scammed through congress on false pretenses. But for now, we’re merely running a thought experiment.]
"Are you serious?" you say incredulously. "The lockdowns killed my job and my pension. My family is hungry, we’re behind on the mortgage, and the bankers are about to kick us out of our house onto the street. And now you want to add insult to injury by jacking up our gas and heating bills and driving up our expenses with higher ‘fossil fuel’ taxes while hiring a vast slew of bloodsucking IRS auditors and armed field agents to rob us blind at gunpoint and throw us in jail? Are you kidding me?”
Being far too important to bother with the complaints of a “little person” like you, they say nothing. This makes you even angrier.
“Up yours, scum!”, you explode. “You godforsaken despicable sewer rats claim to be my representatives. Most of you are democrats. The Democrat Party is supposed to be the party of the working man! Have you no shame? And by the way, who the hell are those slimy-looking dirtbags in the hallway with the bankster badges, your pimps?"
The pimp reference prompts a few raised eyebrows, an exchange of glances, and a flurry of embarrassed giggles. Finally, one of the congressvermin answers.
"Oh, heavens no!" he/she assures you. "Those are just our friends. They protect us, help us out when we’re in trouble, and give us money when we need it!"
Clearly, this is your second prostitute encounter of the day, and there’s no need to rupture an aneurysm trying to figure out with whom you're dealing. Obviously, you’re dealing with fascisto-communistic whores, pimps, and cathouse barons on yet another outrageous grifting spree at your expense.
Merely to look at them is to get crabs and the clap, and we’re not talking about canned seafood or polite applause.
© 2022 Christopher M. Langan. All rights reserved.
Very well done. There is nothing dishonest about this.
Brilliant, Chris! C.S. Lewis would be elated to have a “Screwtape Letters” v2 for the current masses! Bravo!!!